Motivation

I hesitate to write this. Will it be too personal, or self serving? It is both of those I am sure.

But I have to tell you this, so here goes.

I am standing outside my self, looking at the changes that are happening in my behavior and my thinking.
The me I used to be is fading and then again, I am letting go of that old me and waving good bye without regret. It seems I have finally found peace or satisfaction or something intangible that makes all the struggles seem to be ending.
I have for so long been motivated by the need, desire, desperate striving for some kind of recognition, or fame, as an indicator of success. Look at me, look at what I made, look at how good I am, like a five year old wanting the attention of adults. I got what I thought I wanted by perseverance, hard work, single mindedness, and overall ambition. And then what?
I discovered it wasn't success that I wanted after all. It was a desire for acceptance. And that very success prevented acceptance, in my case. The need to attain it meant I had to be working to be outside of everything and everyone and eventually to try to top them. And that made me alone out there, which is no fun.
This pattern of ambition led to lots of applause, but no intimacy. Who wants to be close to someone who is so competitive?
I tried to quell my competitive nature. Sometimes it works, and other times it rises again, destroying relationships. I am telling you, it is a bad habit I just had to break.
This is one reason that I have recently been stepping back a bit from quilting. If I am not competing, then what drives me to make a quilt? You may think it would be because I enjoy it, but then you don't understand my motivations. Quilting isn't a hobby for me. It is a gauge of my competitive nature. Not pretty, I know.
If I could disengage my ambition from quilting, I might relax and enjoy doing it, but at the moment, I am at a loss as to how to do that, although I am trying. Really trying.

On the other hand, I am knitting. I am not competing to be the best knitter, only enjoying the process, figuring out the puzzle, and hopefully liking the finished product.
While I knit, I think. This thinking has led me to this realization: I am satisfied, no, thrilled to be just out of the race. My relationship with my dear husband is so precious and wonderful, and I have growing friendships with the gals at knitting, and my sister and I are closer than ever, which counts bigtime under the heading of having family. I won't even mention my love affair with the Dawgs. This is all leading to the fact that I am no longer so lonely.

Loneliness was my constant companion for so many, many years. I started the blog because I was lonely and kept it up because I was still lonely. And now I am so much less lonely than I have ever been.
The blog was my 'boss' to please, which was you Dear Reader, and I so longed to please you. And it gave me a deadline to complete projects to keep your interest. It gave me a place to showcase my work, and get feedback, and to squeeze drops of love from you. It was an outlet for sharing what I learned and passing that information on to those interested. I still get that from this effort.

But I fear that if I don't remain the productive artist I once was, I will lose all that I have here. And I know I am not cranking out art the way I once did. I just can't. I don't 'have to' anymore.
I am becoming more healthy and normal everyday. Not so driven, or competitive, or needy. I never thought I would feel this way.

I want to pass the torch, mostly to my sister, who is not so neurotic about quilting, but ever so talented at the same time. I would be truly thrilled to see her working as a full time quilt artist, and I can help her, if and when she needs my help. And applaud her triumphs, be her cheerleader, and smooth out the inevitable disappointments.

In conclusion, I have to be honest and say that I am breathing a sigh of relief at ending my fanatical race, and enjoying being in the moment, loving the people in my life and giving aid and comfort wherever I can.

I am not quitting anything. Not even quilting. I am just letting go of striving for some unattainable goal. It feels so good.

A Day Off

 As we say in the South, 'Ahm tarred.' Translation, I could stay in bed all day today. The steady rain makes a soothing background noise, and there really isn't anything pressing that needs to be done.

I have a good book, some knitting and a fresh pot of tea. Leftovers to warm up and enjoy and maybe, just maybe, I'll have soak in the hot tub later if it stops raining.
We moved my sister's kitchen and more books and stuff, including the washer and dryer. I am surprised I am not sore from all those stairs, something like four down and 16 up for each trip. Would that my thighs decreased in size for each stair. ha!
Brooke's new apartment is 5 minutes from her job, so I can see us meeting there for lunch in the future. We have already once. And I can also see Dave and me coming into town more, now that there is a place to visit. Glory, our niece, can walk to high school, downhill, but uphill on the way home. And these are not wimpy hills. And Terry is close to his work too. A very good move for them all.

Que Pasa?

 As previously mentioned, my sister and her family have a new apartment and we have been helping them move. We have a trailer and our van has the back seats removed so there is plenty of room for boxes and clothes etc. Sunday we moved most of the furniture and then Tuesday we moved more, including my niece's stuff, and the beds. They have been sleeping at the new place since then.
Today we are returning to move the washer and dryer and all the kitchen stuff (china, serving dishes etc.) that remains. My sis and her dh have to work, and that is why we are pitching in, as if we were Mom and Dad.
It's hard work, but at the same time, satisfying. It's different when it isn't your own stuff, and I am a ruthless decider of what is good and what must be tossed.
This move is happening at just the right time. The place they were living in, while in a gorgeous spot, was imploding all at once in recent days. Ceiling leaks made the hall bath a mold haven, and the floor in the other bath fell through. I kid you not. Not to mention the mice. It was always a temporary home, courtesy of their church, but tiny and dark. The new apartment is huge, bright, clean and everything works!
I was looking for pics of the old place and found this outdoor shot of Brooke hold the baby Chumley.
And then this baby picture was in the same file. Wasn't the tiny Chum cute?

I've put down my knitting, and the quilt is still waiting to be finished in the studio....

but this move means a trip to IKEA is in our future. Woowoo!

Swatching

Swatches? Swatches? We don't need no stinkin' swatches!
uh...yes we do. I came late to swatching but now I am a believer. It removes all the doubt and fear as one knits along, especially if it is a new pattern or an original design. Why live in fear when one can find out DEFINITIVELY if one is knitting the right size? Here is a an example of one diamond/square, before and after wet blocking. The first square is more condensed and springy due to the pattern stitch. It measures about 3" on a side. After being dunked in water, squeezed to damp dry and placed back on the rule, it is flatter and wider all around, measuring at 3 1/2".

But the really important measure in this case, is the width, which went from 4 1/4" to 5".

Knitting a pattern stitch draws in the yarn, which is already quite springy, and it is difficult to know if the width will be wide enough. The first picture measures at 18" wide, and after measuring the swatch at 5" wide, I know this piece will block out at least at 20" wide, much more of what I need it to be. Sigh. The length also matters, and I am confident about how long to keep knitting, because of the swatch. And notice how much less 'bumpy and lumpy' the blocked swatch is than the larger knitted piece. If the pattern stitch is new to you, it helps to swatch it to decide if the finished product is desirable.
And let me just say that the yarn I am using had been a fully knitted sweater that I did not swatch and ended up being horribly unwearable. Learn this lesson or live to frog.

And now your Daily Dawgs, not counting Dave.
Chumley and Chester got super duper flea meds yesterday and are soooo relieved not to be itching anymore. Chumley is so happy that  he won't get out from under the covers, even with the flash going off.

Design Your Own Knits

My friends at Knitting tease me because I can't stick to the directions for any pattern. I may like 80% of a design but then I want to change the neckline or sleeves or make it a pullover instead of a cardigan. I know what I like and in the words of the famed knitter Elizabeth Zimmerman, "You are in charge of your knitting". This means that I am allowed to modify a design and won't be struck by lightning if I do. To help me figure out how to do what I want, I refer to some great books. I offer them to you if you are ever looking for something 'exactly' the way you want to make it and can't find it. Make it up yourself!

Just as it says, this is a workshop in a book, showing how to make a sweater using your measurements, gauge and shapes. The colors are sensational, because Lynne is also a dyer and spinner and her yarns are delicious. OK I admit I know her, but still, I am sure this book will not disappoint.

http://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Sisters-Knit-Sweaters-Workshop/dp/1931499691

This book offers really simple shapes that are so flattering and fast to make. Simple is good when designing for the first time. And if you are a true beginner, then this is where to start. Following the directions is recommended...at least at first!

http://www.amazon.com/Gorgeous-Sweaters-Brand-New-Knitter-Sophisticated/dp/1579901727/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

It's no secret that I love modular knits and this book covers all the different modular shapes and shows how to work them into a garment or accessory. Very clear pictures and directions. Clever ideas abound.

http://www.amazon.com/Pattern-Knits-Techniques-Wonderful-Accessories/dp/0764158929/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319457208&sr=1-1#_

OK I admit I don't actually own this book, yet, but I know the designs from seeing them on Ravelry and they are fabu. I want to make every one, and they are so contemporary which makes them even more attractive. I hate to seam, so that's a big clue to why I like these knits.

http://www.amazon.com/Seamless-Nearly-Knits-Andra-Knight-Bowman/dp/1604680288/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319457342&sr=1-1-spell

And when it comes to patterns, this is one pattern company that really teaches how to make a knit your own. The step by step diagrams solve the mysteries of construction and each design teaches a new and easy technique, in a modular way sometimes. Part of why I love this designer's work is the fit of the knits. Slimming lines, nice drapey fabric and again, very little seaming, ever!

http://www.justonemorerow.com/index.html

Why Rearrange?

Some of you may wonder why we rearrange our furniture and our rooms so often. There are loads of reasons.
When we do, we clean out and under the places that are collecting dust and dog hair, and find all the stuff we 'lost'. Once the dusting starts, everything gets the treatment, washing floors and clearing out drawers, and it's a good feeling.
Then of course we want to try different rooms for other reasons, like more space or just a new ambiance.
I always like the new arrangement and at the time think it is going to be permanent. ha!
My room got rearranged yesterday and I swapped out one table for a smaller one, and even changed my quilt to the new one I made this summer, Elly Pastelly.
I moved the couch to the railing to block out the darn brightness from the fireplace when it comes on. I need to sleep in total darkness, and that light always woke me up in the previous arrangement.
I've got a remote for my stereo at my bedside, and a table for my books and one for my computer. Why didn't I think of this before?
Our house is like a little doll house in the woods and we love to play house.

Ta-Da Moments

I am happy to reveal my newest design as you go knit. The Angled Modular Vest. I was planning on long sleeves but I tried this on with a Tee and it looked just right as a vest, and now I think I will be making a bunch of vests instead of long sleeve sweaters for this season. But after saying that, here is that finished long sleeved Pacific Grove pullover in cotton/acrylic that would work just fine in warmer weather, with cool nights.


For the last week we have been talking about moving the big queen sized bed out of Dave's loft bedroom and trading it for the twin guest bed. Yesterday was our moving day. It took some time to disassemble the fourposter, as Dave had painted it and reinforced it with screws that were painted in so well...it was a job, just let me say. Finally we got it into the guest room assembled it and noticed in the brighter light of that room that it needed another coat of paint, so out came the brush and paint. Phew. It was an all day project, but the results are so satisfying. I am sure our guest room has just turned into a family cuddle spot, with a TV at the other end of the bed.

Yes, it is exactly the same paint that is on the walls. The quilt that was on that wall came down and now I have a really big space to fill with new artwork. Ha!

I went out to the garage shelves and found a comforter and bedspread, and was happy to play house for a while. After shooting these pics, the Dawgs and Squeaky Duck jumped right up, showing their approval of this arrangement.


Dave got his heart's desire, more space for his guitars, speakers, and  amplifiers etc. We are both getting the kind of bedrooms we always wanted. Mine is super girly and his is all boy. He will get one of the new quilts from this summer, a matching headboard recover (the pink will be retired) and maybe curtains.

Call Orkin!  We have bed pugs!

Lunch at the New Apartment

My sister Brooke has a new place and we jumped the gun and brought in lunch and chairs to view the wonderful emptiness. This is the dining room with a window and hardwood floors, sigh. I am so impressed with the size of everything.
There is a long hallway, also wood, new milk chocolate carpeting in the living room and all three bedrooms and tile for the rest of the floors. New paint on the walls too. And it comes with blinds on all the windows.
Her kitchen is big enough to eat in, or add shelving for more storage, altho I think she has plenty, including a pantry! The big surprise for us both is that she has an automatic icemaker in her refrigerator! I am jealous of the dishwasher of course.

There are two full baths, and this is the hall bath. I know my niece Glory will love this counterspace for all her stuff.

The master bedroom is huge, and has a walk-in closet big enough to accommodate the washer and dryer (hookups included). And built in shelving! O my.
The apartment is in North Chattanooga and Glory can walk to school and the commute for my sis and her dh is less than 15 minutes, and no highway driving (at 80MPH) which is majorly important.
Three bedrooms means Brooke gets one for her quilting studio. Yay!!

We were both going to be at the quilting retreat for the next three days but it got cancelled, and so now she is taking the days off to pack and prepare to move.

Scrap Storage

I was asked to write about how I store my fused scraps.

This is how it really looks when I am working. A tornado passed through maybe? It all does clean up pretty well, but my system is far from perfect. I wish I could say that I keep my scraps (and rolls of fused fabric) in some sort of organized fashion, but alas, I don't. My scraps have grown to fill three Trofast containers (IKEA) and fit miraculously in my Craig's List armoire.


And I have two big Rubbermaids which hold cotton and silks, separately. That's it for my post on scrap storage. Surely someone has a better idea?

PS: And here's some Dawgs for you too....

Tutorial: Cutting Doo-Dads

Shall we return to kindergarten where we first got to play with scissors? That may have been when I hit my artistic prime, and I have been working to get my mojo back ever since.

When I started fusing and discovered the fact that any leftover fused scrap was usable, I began to frugally slice and dice bits to add pattern and detail to my work. Over the years it became a recognizable attribute. Along the way I added hand embroidery now and then, as well some machine embroidery to emphasize the patterns. This is why I found it difficult to quilt using mostly prints, since to me it looked like anyone could have done it. Now with my own dyed fabric, in solids, blotches, stripey and watercolory effects + ALL the doo-dads, it looks to me like I did this.






I digress.
Anyway, here's how to make some of the doo-dads in this piece.

Begin with fused fabric, and a sharp pair of small scissors, a mat and your rotary cutter, small if you have one. Cut a wedge to make the mini ziz-zag strip.

Cut one wedge at a time and separate them from the whole. Save the triangles for decorating another area. ALWAYS CUT WITH THE FUSED SIDE DOWN.

To make the wedgie Vs cut a wedge and fold in half, fused side inside.

Cut the bottom off at an angle and continue to slice at the same angle to produce the V shapes. This photo shows the inside fused side. As you open the Vs you will note which side is which, or face trouble when you press them down.

To cut the tiny dots, or any size dots, cut, and turn the fabric as you cut. Practice.

This is the $7 iron I am using, teflon coated surface, so important.

When you fuse, you are working directly on the pressing table, whether it is an ironing board or like mine, a drafting table with padding and canvas top. (I made this surface myself). I use a small rotary mat and keep everything else off the quilt while I work. It helps keep the quilt nice and clean. And don't forget to always fuse on the release paper or teflon applique sheet. Forget once and you'll never do it again.