Tuesday, December 09, 2008

30 Years of Homemade Love

Mr. Wonderful

I have been thinking about our marriage and what a circuituous route we have taken to get where we are today. In a nutshell it was Dave's concept of giving each other a break when things got sticky. That and having separate vacations. We are not like the average couple, wanting different things out of our lives from the very beginning. But in our case it works.

And now we are reaping the benefits of a long and happy marriage. Who would have believed we would have made this work? I was a 30 year old divorcee and he was just 23 when we met. What did we have in common? Not much. But underlying the obvious, we had similar values about important things like money, family, sex, and wine.

What keeps us so happy now is having this house project together. It is a very quiet life, and we sometimes don't speak all day, keeping to our separate wings of the house, until it's time to come together for a meal.

And, he is a superb person, and I like taking care of him, and he likes taking care of me.




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22 comments:

  1. I can't help but comment-marriage does take a certain amount of working things out doesn't it? I think a willingness not to be bothered about not fitting a "mold" is crucial. Well, I am from California right?! Good for you and congratulations!

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  2. Well put, Melanie! It's really great when 2 people come together and find a way to grow and enjoy life, sharing the same space, but each allowing the other their own space as well. I have enjoyed 21 years with my hubby, and we have that kind of marriage as well! Keep doing what works, and may you have many more happy years together!

    Judy

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  3. Happy Anniversary from one December bride to another...it's it great when your with the "right one". Enjoy your day!

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  4. Congratulations to you both for figuring "it" out and making "it" work. Here's wishing you many more good years.

    "It" being that precarious balance of separateness and togetherness ... of caring and loving yourself as much as you do the other.

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  5. congratulations, you 2 love birds!

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  6. Congratulations on your anniversary, Melody. Dave looks like a real sweetheart! May you have many more happy years ahead.

    My husband and I have a similar sort of marriage, as we have different interests and don't do everything together.

    Kristin in SC

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  7. Much love and many more years of happiness to two of my fave peeps. I still miss Dave's blog!!

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  8. Congratulations on a happy anniversary! You know, my in-laws also have an "untypical" arrangement that seems to work great for them. When my FIL retired he and my MIL sold their house in LA so that he could move to their vacation home in Arizona. She still had a couple years of work so she stayed in LA in their 5th wheel. She visits him, he visits her. And then they'd take vacations together. That's been going on for the last 7 years or so. Now they stay together for four months in Mexico and the remainder of the year is spent back and forth from LA and Arizona. They've been married for over 40 years and are happy.

    I think what's important is if you share the same values in life. The little details don't have to be precisely aligned. I don't expect my husband to attend quilt or doll events with me. He'll listen to me talk about it. I'll go to the races with him quite a bit. But he understands that it's not my passion, just something that I enjoy occasionally. We're pretty happy but it's only been 6 years for us so we're still newlyweds according to our parents. LOL :-)

    Thanks for showing that there are lots of different ways to have a happy and successful marriage! Cheers!!

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  9. Sounds like a marriage made in heaven to me!

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  10. Anonymous1:34 PM

    Happy anniversary and is sounds like it really is. I some times think people with seperate interts have a good marriage because when they do come together they are happy to be together and share each others day and interests. I have been married for 47 yrs and it has worked for us.
    Roberta

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  11. 30 years!! Congradulations!!! Enjoy your anniversary and thanks for sharing some of what makes it work. I think you said it well when you said that you both like looking after each other. That is so very important isn't it?
    Cheers, Denise

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  12. Happy anniversary. You both seem to be very thoughtful, figure-it-out kinds of people who have built a good life rather than just letting things happen as they may. Wishing you many more happy days together.

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  13. Let me add my congratulations to the list! Too bad we don't get to see the stories of these type of marriages more often. I'm happy for you!

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  14. "and I like taking care of him, and he likes taking care of me."

    And you both do a great job of it!!

    Happy Anniversary!

    Hugs,

    teri

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  15. Melody and Dave,

    Happy anniversary to both of you!
    And I feel the secret is in your last sentence: you want to take care of each other.

    At least: that was my answer to a young lady we met in Miami in October last and who asked us for our 'secret'of being married 36 years and still be able to enjoy it!
    Cheers to you guys..

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  16. Add me to the list of well wishers - I'm so glad the 2 of you are happy - I'm sure this has added to your abilities to be the best artist you can be!

    Candy

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  17. Happy Anniversary to both of you. I, too, miss Dave's blog, so I love it when you post about him. Here's to many more.
    LB

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  18. Happy Anniversary Mel and Dave. Keep on enjoying your wonderful life.

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  19. Sounds as though you've hit upon the right ingredients for a tasty partnership! Congratulations on your anniversary!

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  20. Oops! I'm sorry, Melody! I mis-posted your name yesterday... I'm soooo embarrassed!

    Judy

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  21. To those readers who wrote such kind wishes to Melody and me, I would like to return the favor. I am amazed that I have been with Melody for thirty years or is it the other way around. As most of you can agree, it never gets easier, and in my marriage it seems to require more understanding of learning ways to keep it together. I do admit I'm getting cranky and more impatient than I remember myself being. But thankfully, she has you and her blog, which provides her with a connection to other creative types. It's this relationship with you (her readers) that give her just what she needs to keep growing as an artist and as a person. And for this I cannot thank you enough. I would also like to thank those who so gently stated that they have missed my blog again and again. All I can say is you never know what the future holds and God willing maybe I'll start writing again soon.

    Dave

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Hello,
So nice of you to drop by. I love your comments, and if you would really like a reply, please email me at fibermania at g mail dot com