Working at Being Retired
Dave is trying to teach me how to be retired and while I am usually adept at learning new tricks, I am not doing too well with this one.
I am trying to understand the concept that I need not do anything, and it is still OK. I get a tad grumpy if I haven't done something to report to him at the end of the day, as my finished task, or creative effort.
He says: "I am not your boss".
Oh.
So for practice yesterday I announced. "I am going to have a lazy day today". (assuming lazy equates with being retired...what do I know?)
I stayed in my studio, in my jammies, reading my novel until I was finished and it was lunch time. Oh, but I did sneak into the kitchen and bake off the bread loaves that I had started the previous day (3) and some Italian sausage, since the oven was going anyway... but mostly I just read all day. And washed the dishes, and then showered and dressed after a nice lunch of roast cornish game hen, rice and green beans, all mustgo from the refrig.
And then I turned on the studio TV and watched Shear Genius which is a contest for the best hairdresser, a watered down version of so many other Bravo shows, Project Runway and Top Chef being far superior.
But my studio was a mess and needed vacuuming, so I brought up the vacuum, which also needed emptying, so I cleaned out the filter while watching the show. Then I moved furniture and got up all the nasty bits on the floor, and cleared off my work surface, readying it for new work.
To cap off my no-work day, I shopped online for garden plants...didn't put in the order yet, but I did find loads of bargains.
After dinner we watched another two episodes of Rosemary and Thyme and since there were only reruns I toddled off to bed with my library book.
So that's about it. I was so exhausted I went to bed at 7:30 and read til I fell asleep.
I don't think this retirement thing is going to work for me.
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Frieda Anderson's email and blog have been compromised and she cannot reach either account. So if you need to email her use this address.
You need a large glass of "guilt-go-way". There is something at work in the universe that says whatever day you plan to do nothing is the day you do the most. Seriously though, the more guilt you cast off the more your house will look like mine-not a pretty sight.
ReplyDeleteAs one who was forced into retirement by being fired, I have embraced it fully. I don't even miss the job.
ReplyDeleteEach day is what it is. I am fully employed with whatever I do that day: shoveling snow, cleaning, laundry, reading, sorting, having lunch or dinner with friends, walking the dog. Retired means I decide. It's not decided for me.
This may have worked better for you if you still had friends nearby to socialize with. When we moved here, I had to get a job in order to meet people. My husband and I get along great, but he isn't enough. I need people. I think you do also.
My dad retired two years ago, and after 6 months of lazy days he went out and got TWO jobs!
ReplyDeleteHah! It sounds like heaven to me. But I guess it would get old, (after a few years).
ReplyDelete;)
I know nothing of course, being far from retired, but there is that cool shop you mentioned a while back. Maybe a few low key classes with "like -minded" people to take the edge off? Come on, I know you've thought about it....
ReplyDeleteRemember, retirement is time for you to do all the things you didn't have time for when you were working. I always believed "rest is rust". I heard that when I was in my 20's. Now I know that napping, reading for hours, daydreaming,etc. are necessary parts of a well adjusted person. My "self" still demands that I account for what I do in a day; maybe someday I can let go of that and you can too.
ReplyDelete"I don't think this retirement thing is going to work for me."
ReplyDeleteIf you heard a big THUMP when I read this line this morning...it was the sound of a hopeful heart leaping.
Carol
Houston
1. Retirement is doing what YOU want to do when YOU want to do it.
ReplyDelete2. It is also about doing things that are meaningful and fulfilling to YOU.
3. It is also about enjoying time and doing things with DAVE.
4. It is also about taking time and finding ways to adjust from your previous life.
The only thing you need to do is fill in the answers to these questions.
Big Sis
The adjustment period can take a year or even more.
If you want to move furniture, help me out (on paper). Go to my rearrangement page at: http://www.winnowing.com/2ndfloor.html
ReplyDeleteIt will give you something to do in your spare time.
Adjustment to retirement is not simple. After all, we define ourselves at least in part by the work we do. While you are still "the artist", you have given up being "the teacher". In addition you made another huge life change at the same time, moving to Tennessee. Not easy.
ReplyDeleteI retired in June of 2005 after 37 years of teaching. To keep from going crazy I worked part time at my old school for 1 year. That allowed me to still have contact with lots of people while also learning to deal with free time (I only worked 3 days a week for about 5 hours each). You may want to give serious thought to teaching a much reduced schedule, whether at that lovely shop you described or farther afield. It will provide social interaction and mental stimulation. At the same time it is likely to help you appreciate your home, Dave, and your newly found free time.
I know you will sort things out and adjust to the changes in your life. It just takes time.
You're out in the country now. Give yourself time to slow down into the pace. You will. And it will be okay.
ReplyDeleteWhen I stopped working as a RN I missed the people not the grind of going to work 5-6 days a week. I love getting up when I want to and going to bed when I want to and reading, shopping cooking, cleaning, knitting, gardening getting dressed, etc. all if I want to. However, unlike you
ReplyDeleteI didn't retire into what seems to me; total isolation. My work people were replaced with easily accessible quilt people, then grand kid people and now that I have moved away from friends, quilt friends and the largest portion of my family I find myself missing the most the conversation that women of like minds and interest have with each other. I miss the adventures we had too.
I find I am teaching more here than I did in KY, simply because I miss women who quilt. Despite that, NOT for anything would I go back to a JOB!!!
As a retiree, I love the days when I do nothing but nap all day and I enjoy the days when I work my finger weary in the studio.
You will get to this place too. Just tell yourself a often as necessary that retirement isn't the same thing as laziness. And if truth be told, women never retire. There is still the cooking and the cleaning and shopping and all the stuff that makes everyday life run smoothly even if there is someone around who willingly helps. However, in retirement you should not feel pushed to doing any of it as if you are on deadline and someone will write you up if you don't get everything done. Let your motto in retirement be, "There is always tomorrow and if not then, will it really matter if tomorrow becomes the day after". The best thing about retirment is that retiring makes you the boss, the decider of your days and the maker of your own plans.
I bet you retired from the hassel of being a traveling teacher not the act of teaching. Maybe retiring to be a full/part-time artist isn't enough for you. May I suggest that you look into teaching close to home, but only when it fits in your schedule.
Dear Mrs. Mel: Full time retirement is over rated. I tried it and got fat and out of shape. I like part-time retirement. I love having something to do that gives my existance and affords me a certain joie de vive.
ReplyDeleteSo I hope that you will consider part-time retirement and will continue to create those little wonders that make us ooh and ahh.
Thanks for the 'heads up' about Frieda's email address and blog. I got the scam email and checked out her blog. I was very pleased to see you had left the warning. What a pain for her!
ReplyDeleteRetiring from a profession is different from inactivity. After I retired after 36 years in July, I spent a manic three months winnowing paperwork and work clothes. I had made lists of things I wanted to do after I retired, and it's only now sinking in that I don't have to do them all at once. I didn't move like you did, either. You have to acquaint yourslf with this person who doesn't travel to teach, while you get totally settled in the new house. What you need is a spa & meditation retreat or something like it. Hmm. Maybe I do too!
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