Thursday, December 22, 2005

Dear Santa

I know you want the best for me, but please don't bring me the Body Burner mini trampoline for Christmas. I promise to get off my butt and exercise, like running upstairs for more wine or jumping up from the couch to search www.tvguide.com for tonight's listings. We don't need another contraption to remind us that we should be moving. Searching for the remote ought to be enough.


And don't bring me anymore of these. Dave already brought home two. I use them, rilly. Well one at least. They have a large family of similar equipment, mops that need new sponge heads, and brooms that hold more dirt than they sweep up. Don't get me started on the number and variety of vacuum cleaners we own. Buying them does not equate with using them.


Really, is this a Christmas gift? Even with Enzyme Action, I DON'T WANT IT.

And while you're at it, don't bring me anything with a cord, especially one that has a battery charger attached to it. Or the apparatus, and the replay device, and the speakers that have cables to attach to the speakers and the unit. And the earplugs. NO MORE CABLES. I have drawers full already and they are all in KNOTS.

Don't bring me anymore yarn, or postcards that tell me about yarn sales, or last minute deals on yarn or new wonderful yarns that I simply must try...unless they are already wrapped and ready to give...or 40% off...for a limited time only. . .

OK I didn't mean it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So What Do I Want?

It's embarrassing to admit that I have everything I could possibly want, thingwise.
I would like LESS of some things. I would like less clutter, less weight, less paperwork, less dust on the things that I have already collected...
I'd like better TV reception (even our cable is bad on some stations like CBS and NBC), better shows on TV and better movies to rent. Better gas mileage, better traffic patterns and better wine for less money.

I'd like more time with friends, and more hungry visitors to laugh with, and feed. I'd like my brother to call me and come over without a reason, except that he loves me. I'd like my sister to move to my neighborhood so we could grow closer together. I'd like Dave's sister to get well, and his mom to remember again and mostly, a cure for Parkinson's Disease.

Is that too much to ask?

7 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. I am laffing and actually made G read it too. Now that's a feat!!

    I hope santa brings you everything on your list. And by the case it's cheaper!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think you've got it right this Christmas.Best to you and your families!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous11:15 AM

    ROFLMAO, too funny....
    You mean you'd refuse wool from Santa?
    Got to rush, the magnetic strip on my bank card died...or did the bank turn my card off? Anyways, I have to go and get me some cash over the counter.

    Have a nice holiday and I hope Santa brings you a pair of round-trip tickets to the Caribbean...all-inclusive, btw.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Have you ever had what we refer to in california as 2 buck chuck? it is Trader Joes line of wine under the label Charles Shaw. it sells for $1.99, the the cabernet is pretty good.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous3:23 PM

    Two buck Chuck is about $3 in Illinois!
    I love their Merlot.
    Why not try them all?
    At Such a great price you can get a case of each rather than a bottle of each.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Trader Joe just moved into our neighborhood and I am off to make friends with Charles Shaw, woowoo!
    Thanks for the tip, or should I say tipple?

    ReplyDelete
  7. That's hilarious. Love the trampoline.

    ReplyDelete

Hello,
So nice of you to drop by. I love your comments, and if you would really like a reply, please email me at fibermania at g mail dot com