You’re not the boss of me

---Mother Nature

I know I should be happy that I have these glorious double daffodils, and I am, kinda. But I am also spitting mad because I discovered two or more heuchera with their roots eaten away by varmints. I say two or more because there were also suspiciously empty holes right next to the ones that were eaten away. Grrr.  The tops looked alive so I replanted them in my ‘safe nursery’ where I hope to revive them. Still it was a gloriously sunny day and things are bursting into life like the bleeding hearts that ate Cleveland. They may look small here, but just you wait. Last year they reached 36” tall and wide.

After fussing around in the garden I gave myself a break and sat by the pond to indulge in a little fish counting. This is my fave hobby when the weather is nice. As mentioned numerous times on this blog, we have goldfish, and lots of pond fish, a.k.a. Dang Babies. I like to count them, as a way of maintaining ownership. It’s all in my head of course. I have no control over them and if they die or freeze or get eaten, I can’t stop it. But for my mental health, I count.

Here we have two goldies and some attending Dangs. These goldfish are big orange beauties, no?

I counted two, but we have three…or we did. I waited and waited to see #3. No #3. Dave came out and walked around looking for #3. #3 is gone.

My heart breaks. When did this happen? I am miserable.  I decided that I have to accept this, and move on. I could embrace the Dangs, and be content that we have plenty of them, at least 2 dozen…but they are not shiny orange. And not as big and bright. After a while I decide to just go in and try to forget.

I watch a little tv, have a little lunch, and go out again and paint wood for our garden beds.

We are making two veggie beds, 4x8 feet by 12 inches deep. We painted the pine boards with polyurethane to make them last a few years longer than bare wood. This made me happy for an hour or so, and then I had to check back to see if we had really lost #3.

No sign of him. The pond is much deeper than last week, since we had so much rain. The rain brought in lots of orange leaves, and I keep thinking a leaf is a fish.

I am about done with being outdoors and decide that I need a good photo of the remaining two goldfish. So I get my camera and take a dozen or so shots. They do not pose nicely for me. It is only when I don’t have the camera that they sit quietly in one spot, no ripples disguising their orangetude. I follow them around shooting and hoping something is nearly in focus, and then… I see #3. Ahhhhh. Now I can be happy again.