Sunday, June 04, 2006

Being Koi


Visiting the koi at Whitnall Park, Boerner Botanical Gardens, Hales Corner WI
I promised that I would post my painting when it was finished. It is finished. Or more accurately, done for. It is drek and while I am likely to post a bad quilt every now and then, I am way less interested in revealing my weak painting.
When I see paintings in exhibits, street fairs or books I think, HA! I can do that. Or I can do that better! What a tremendous ego. Then I start making them again and flump. Nothing. Or worse, I let my high school self into the room and make something really immature. Then I try to fix it. The fixing only makes it worse.
Then I fall into a pit of despair.
Then I get over it.
I am on that 'getting over it' day.
I will take down the drek, put it away to dry and then remove it from the stretchers and re-stretch some new canvas. Next month. I have 12 more new canvases ready to paint at the moment.
I will look again at my fave painters and figure out what went wrong. I will underpaint with acrylics and then slather on the oils as soon as the underpainting is dry. I will stop before it is fatally ruined. I will leave out details. I will not sweat the small stuff.
I will remind myself that I can paint like this, which I did last summer...


The loose as a goose detail shot. acrylic, 15 x20"

8 comments:

  1. diane3:00 PM

    Maybe you just need to leave it alone for a little while and come back to it. I'm not an artist but I know that sometimes when we try too hard, everything just goes kerflooey and the best thing is to step away and come back after your mind has had a chance to dwell on something else. Mindless activity sometimes works, too - you know what I mean, cleaning cupboards, weeding, laundry. Stuff where you can see the accomplishment right away without using brain power.
    Good luck. I know you'll be back on top soon and better than ever.

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  2. Switching gears making it all work takes some starts and stops doesnt it! At least your muddling through it. Just wanted to say that I love the painting posted here..it has to be the shoes, like a moment caught before a big event. Its fluid and loose with a jazz of colors! The lines move the eye center right and then around to take a step back and wonder at the story behind the pose.
    As for trying to 'fix' a bad start,LOL I have a pile of fixed paintings and quilts that mark my steps towards each new path I have found. Every time I think I should toss em I rethink and decide that sometimes I need to remember that its all a growth process. Hang in there Mel, I bet you come away from this with a beauty!!

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  3. 1. Cute play on words, being koi.

    2. Echoing your words: Don't sweat the small stuff. Take 'er easy.

    3. I love the new medium.

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  4. I love it when you paint, but the fiber work is what floats my boat!!

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  5. Hi Melody,
    It's beautiful how you write about the jumps and dives of your self-esteem during your creative process... I don't think that say a Tom Cruise would have the guts or the humour to show what's going on inside..

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  6. Anonymous5:28 PM

    Hello from NZ

    Good on you for not sharing your painting with us! I am disappointed that we didnt get to see it, but very encouraged to read about your own process in relation to it. You describe how I often feel too, and it is good to know that this is normal. I would love to know what people/events/experiences have supported you to make the decision not to show us the painting.

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  7. About Tinus' comment... I'm not so sure there is much going on inside with Tom Cruise.

    Ah, pits of despair. I visit them too.

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  8. Hi! I am a regular reader of your blog. It is great to read about your creative processes and approach to art.

    I just got the July/August issue of the "Quilters Newsletter" magazine today and as I was flipping through the pages, a very distinctive use of colour caught my eye. I thought it looked just like your work and I was right! :) It was your article "Color As I See it". "Croton" is such a spectacular piece!

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Hello,
So nice of you to drop by. I love your comments, and if you would really like a reply, please email me at fibermania at g mail dot com