Being Counted

I voted for Kerry and Obama, which took no courage, merely common sense. I live in the most conservative county in Illinois, the only one that went solidly for what's his name, Alan Keyes. We still see Keyes placards on major highways in the area.

I joke that we live on Main Street under the name of Johnson, and no one would suspect that we are radicals. Being a Democrat in this town makes us radicals. So when I rented the dvd Fahrenheit 9/11, I expected to be riled slightly, but knew it would be preaching to the converted. O, if it were only so.

We watched the film and got more and more upset as Michael Moore presented Bush and his minions in various scenarios, with restraint and soft spoken narration. Interviews with soldiers in terrible situations, Iraqi family members standing before their bombed out homes, fat cats in white tie and tails, (his 'base'), toasting Bush, veterans in hospitals with missing limbs, and a mother, who encouraged her son to join the military to serve his country and garner education benefits, who wept bitterly when he was among the many killed in Iraq; all these scenes added to my revoltion.

A clip of Bush declaring the end of major combat on board that carrier, dressed in his flight suit, was such a disgusting act, especially considering how premature it was, and because he was in effect taking credit for a non-existent victory. This was so sickening that I thought 'It can't get any worse'. Wrong again. There was a shot of a host of young military men and women as they stood behind him during another victory speech, looking so familar that it recalled for me a newsreel from WWII, with the beautiful young men of the Third Reich standing behind their leader. True believers, or merely patriots being swept up in a fervor of falsehoods, locked into a role, doomed to carrying out the machinations of this bafflingly outrageous lie.

There must have been faithful Germans during that time that were totally against the regime, outnumbered and fearful of speaking out. We know that many left their country, and others worked against the government to their own demise. As an innocent, years ago, I wondered where I would have stood had I been in their shoes. Would I have stood by and watched, keeping my mouth shut, going along with it all, being a patriot? I would hope not.

But now I am in a similar place. I can understand not leaving my country, this being my only home, where I work, near my family, my friends, all that I cherish. But I can't let this regime speak for me, send young people, most of them altruist, immature, under-educated and under-employed, to bomb Iraqis, who as far as I can tell had nothing whatsoever to do with Osama Bin Laden, didn't back Saddam and don't have anything to do with oil profits for the Carlisle Group, the Saudi royal family or the Bush royal family.
I can not allow anyone to think that because I am an American that I agree with the actions of my government, that I believe the Iraqis don't love peace as much as we do, that we have any business doing what we are doing in that country to those poor people.

I feel helpless and ashamed. I blame Bush for these feelings.
I'm all for moral values, and especially those which call for peace, truth and responsibility. I don't believe we need to live in fear of the enemy abroad when we have a much bigger enemy right here, in the Whitehouse.