The Real End of Hoop Jumping
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I just read Gabrielle's blog about judging at Paducah and she showed pictures of some of the winners and that KNOT in my stomach formed again. .
O I know I have a penchant for making huge pronouncements (see: It has all become clear to me!!!) but they usually fade like a fart in the wind, and I forget that I ever thought that way, or made that declaration.
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But looking at those pictures of the winning quilts really solidified for me that I have ended the need to out-do, to reach for the gold, to stand on my head, to squeeze out of my creative juices one more senselessly overdone exhibitionist type quilt.
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I wanna enjoy the process. I wanna be happy with the product. I wanna relax when I am in a room where it is displayed. I want to feel a peace and a warmth and a teeny thrill come over me when I look at it hanging.
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I don't want to have to live up to my last best piece.
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Going to a quilt show is difficult for me these days. Either the work is great and it makes me feel bad or the work is bad and it makes me feel bad.
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The worst though is when I see work that is made just to win the money.
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As a viewer, I feel manipulated. I know and understand the effort it took. It is the fudge sauce, the whipped cream, the cherry, the sprinkles and then the airbrushed sparkels, which make it all so inedible.
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And what's worse, is that I know all too well the motivation. I have been there. I have done that. I have won that.
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Of course it was in the dark ages when things were simpler, and all you needed to win were the meager tricks in my bag. But one knows that manic feeling of pushing the envelope, of adding one more thing on top to KILL the judges and get that ribbon!
So since I said it before, earlier this year and I still feel it, I guess it is really going to stick this time.
NO MORE hoop jumping quilts for this girl.